A Special Mother

While I don't consider Nicholas handicapped. I came across this poem while doing a search on Erma Bombeck, inspired by a PBS documentary I saw today.
Her words profound and moving, I found this poem inspirational. Qualities for any mother to aspire to.


THE SPECIAL MOTHER
by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.

This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, he instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth: son. Patron saint, Matthew. Forest, Marjorie: daughter; patron saint Cecilia.

"Rutledge, Carrie: twins. Patron saint....give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a child with a handicap to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.

"She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

-Erma Bombeck

Hanna Rosin, you screwed up!

Making her justifications for short-term breastfeeding, a public forum, Hanna Rosin's The Atlantic article has been all over the place lately. Her multi page rant about how breastfeeding is time consuming and soul sucking is prompting other news outlets to question whether breastfeeding is even worth the obvious health benefits.

Ms. Rosin states that breastfeeding advocates look at formula as a public health menace, on par with cigarettes. In my humble opinion, tis not the formula that is the public health menace, but articles like Ms. Rosin's that are the true health menace.

To justify her tired and overwrought Mombie existence, she sites multiple sources and studies that prove breastfeeding is insignificant, save a bout of diarrhea or two. She claims, through these studies, that there is no proof breastfeeding makes kids healthier, smarter, or more well adjusted.
I agree with her to a certain degree. As militant as I am about breastfeeding my own child, I don't believe that all formula fed babies are stupid, unhealthy, or gearing up for their lot in life as the next Ted Bundy or Charlie Manson. That is where my allowance for her justification ends.

I understand she has multiple children. I, the mother of one semi-high need, not so good at sleeping, 12 month old, can't really fathom a house full of 2 or 3 of them. I know that if we had another child, his/her experience would be different from the first born. That is the true and natural progression of family. I understand the tiring bind she is in. That said, it's no excuse for her to write an article giving other mothers and mothers to be, the impression that breastfeeding is an unnecessary impossibility.

As a woman and mother Hanna Rosin should be ashamed. Her article is an example of the idiocy of our country and culture's take on breastfeeding. Ms. Rosin should not be vilified for ending her breastfeeding session early with child number 3. But she should have thought twice before making her guilt ridden angst public property. We women should support each other decisions to do what is best for their children and families. In countries with paid maternity leave, this lactation bashing is far less occurant. Breastfeeding being a cultural norm is surely one of the reasons why.

Not every women can breastfeed. As controversial as it sounds, unless there is a medical reason contraindicating it, every woman should at least try. There are benefits to breastfeeding. They are proven, at a minimum, to aid and assist a baby's immune system. If further proof be needed, look around you. We are the only species that feeds our young the milk of another species. Basic animal instinct tells other mammals that they breastfeed their young. It's science plain and simple, that breastfeeding improves the survival of the species.

The irresponsibility of Ms. Rosin's article now extends outward. Venues like The New York Times and the Today Show are giving their articles referencing hers, controversial titles likening breastfeeding to a life-sucking vacuum. To me that is dangerous and defeatist. I pray that a mother or mother to be on the fence about breastfeeding, not let one mother's tired and angst ridden rant keep her from trying to achieve from what is a fulfilling, nurturing, and important part of being a mom.